Resolutions
by KittyGoddess415
Summary: ...or four songs Rachel and Puck hear each other sing and one song they sing together. The songs can say the words they can't, but are they listening? Multi-chapter Puckelberry. COMPLETE.
1. Noah's Song

**Resolutions  
(or four songs Rachel and Puck hear each other sing and one song they sing together)  
**

**A.N.: **Multi-chap fic, in the four and one formula. Not sure that it'll happen in that many chapters though. ;) Also, due to popular demand, I think I'm going to do Noah's POV for "The End", and maybe a happier ending. Don't know if I can help myself. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Not even my car.

* * *

_The lights are on? Damn it, I was hoping to have the auditorium to myself, _Rachel groaned inwardly. _I signed up for it with Mr. Schue..._

She turned to leave, but stopped in her tracks as she heard the music. It was the guitar that drew her the rest of the way in, minor harmonics and melancholy wrapping around her like a serpent.

_**"Broken skies, heartaches that flowers won't mend**_...  
_**Say goodbye, knowing that this is the end  
Tender dreams, shadows fall  
****Love too sweet to recall**__**  
Dry your eyes, face the dawn  
Life will go on, life will go on..."**_

_Are you kidding me? _She walked further in, holding the door so it shut softly behind her as she sat in the back row of the auditorium. She listened attentively. _He must be trying to find his ballad. Poor Noah...Mercedes is not an ideal partner. Not just because she calls me a diva and wants my solos. _Rachel sighed. _Okay, _maybe_ because of that._

She watched Noah as he played. _That broken-hearted soul is most definitely _Noah_, not Puck_, she decided. He caressed the strings gently, coaxing rich, wistful tones from them to echo through the auditorium. _For a public school that has not focused on music, the acoustics here are superb. _

_**"All day long thought that we still had a chance****  
Letting go, this is the end of romance  
****Broken heart, find your way  
****Make it through just this day****  
Face the world on your own  
Life will go on, life will go on..."**_

He glanced out in the direction of the football field for just a moment as Rachel watched. _Hmm_. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she considered. _Poor Noah, he must be thinking about Quinn. _She tuned out the lyrics then, ignoring the uneasy feeling in her stomach, the jealous heat rising in her face, focusing solely on the performance._Good posture, good breath control...slightly flat but perhaps that's the delivery. Lots of slides and scoops. _She frowned as she considered his expression. _He looks so sad..._She swallowed. _I shouldn't be here. _She looked behind her at the door. _I should go. Before he notices..._

_**"Broken heart, find your way  
Make it through just this day  
Face the world on your own  
Life will go on, life will go on...  
Life will go on, life will go on...  
Life will go on, life will go on..."**_

He strummed the last chord and exhaled harshly, grabbing his guitar and the stool and leaving the room.

_That was..._She looked in the direction he'd gone. _For once, I don't know _what _that was, _Rachel frowned to herself.

Before she consciously registered what she was doing, she was on her feet and following. _Where could he have gone? _"Noah?" she called tentatively into the hall. _Maybe he left? _She looked down at her watch. _Well, it's too late really to practice..._She ran to her locker, grabbed her coat and bag, and exited to the parking lot.

***

He put his guitar in the passenger seat carefully, shutting the car door behind it. He leaned on it for a moment, head resting on his arm.

"Noah?" a familiar voice called. Rachel wheeled the pink backpack next to his truck. "I...are you all right?"

"What's it to you?" he asked bitterly, straightening and rounding the truck to the drivers' side.

Undeterred, she wheeled around to follow. "I...I wanted to use the auditorium, and in fact, I'd signed up to-"

"That sign in sheet is just so the janitors know when they can clean, considering you _live _there," he mocked. _Shit, there's a _sign in_?_

Rachel took a deep breath. _There's something going on here and he's trying to push me away. _"I'm your friend, Noah, I want to help. There's something going on, I can tell."

"Well keep guessing. We were never friends, Berry. Don't flatter yourself. Dating a Jewish girl made my mom happy, that's all. Now can you back away from the car? I've got enough roadkill on the windshield," he smirked.

Rachel sighed and backed up, moving slowly to her car as Puck sped away.

***

Puck slammed a hand down on the steering wheel. _Can't I get a single moment of peace? _He glanced in the rear view and watched Rachel watching him. _Can't she just leave it alone? _He sighed, banging his head against the headrest as he came to a stop sign. _I'm never good enough. Not for Quinn, not for Rachel, or Glee..._He frowned. _Well screw them. Screw Finn and his high B, screw Quinn for thinking I'm a loser and blaming me when _she _came on to _me_, and screw Berry for _(caring about me- making me feel- making me think- making me want to talk to her) _stalking me_, he sneered, refusing to acknowledge those other thoughts_. _He'd succeeded in working himself into angry righteousness by the time he walked in the door to his house, when he heard his mother's voice.

"Noah?" she called from the kitchen. "How was your day?"

_Damn, can't be angry, can't let her know anything's wrong. _"Fine, Ma, just got out late from Glee." _Haven't gotten anyone pregnant or been told to back off _my child _or been sexting or blew off someone trying to give a shit about me..._

Mady Puckerman stuck her head out around the kitchen door. "I have to say, Noah, I'm thrilled you're putting all those guitar lessons to use. Have you played any piano yet?"

_Not a chance. _"No, Ma, no piano. I..."

She sighed, gesturing him closer with a spatula.

_Oh hell...I should just go to my room..._With a theatrical sigh, he approached.

As expected, she laid a kiss on his cheek. "I know, my heart. I just hope -"

Noah shook her off. "No way, Ma. No piano."

Mady sighed and rolled her eyes. "All right, all right. There'll be dinner if you want."

_She looks so hopeful..._"Yeah, I'll be down in a few."

"Really?" The question slipped out before Mady could stop herself. She clapped a hand over her mouth and laughed. "Noah Puckerman, I think this is the first day off in three years we're going to have dinner together."

He rolled his eyes. "All right, whatever, sure. Hey, where's Lily?"

"Girl Scouts, she'll be back around 8."

_Maybe I should've picked another day to have dinner...Now she's just going to give me the third degree..._"Uh...actually, Ma..."

Mady shook the spatula in his face. "Don't even think about it. I expect you down in 15 minutes, young man."

_Aw crap. _He trudged up the stairs, quickly showered, changed and returned to the table. _Wow, really? _"Blintzes, Ma? Special occasion?"

She smiled as she put the strawberry syrup down on the table. "I was hoping you'd be home. I remember these are your favorite, and I haven't made them since..." Mady sighed.

_I _hate _when she thinks about _him. Noah placed his hand over hers. "Thanks, Ma."

She looked at him with a tearful smile. "Oh, Noah...I just hope I've done right by you. I know I give you grief about finding a nice Jewish girl, but it's only because I love you."

"I found one, but she's nuts," he muttered absently around a mouthful of blintz. _Oh crap._ He shoveled another forkful into his mouth. _Please don_'_t let her –_

"You _did?_" Her eyes wide with interest, Mady leaned forward and slid his plate out from under his fork.

"Hey!" _That is so not cool, Rachel Berry messes up everything!_ He grabbed for the plate, only to relinquish his grip at his mother's challenge. _I am not risking blintzes falling on the floor. _"She's no one, Ma, I tried and –"

"You tried? You dated a Jewish girl and _never told me?"_ Mady narrowed her eyes at her son. "Were you an _idiot_, Noah?"

"Hey!" he protested. _Geez, thanks for the support, Ma. _"What makes you think it was _me?"_

Mady sighed fondly, sliding the blintzes back to him. "Oh, Noah...I love you, you're my son, but when it comes to the women...you tend to pick ones that are no good for you." She narrowed her eyes at him again with a frown. "Don't think I don't notice how many different lipsticks end up on your collars. It's nearly impossible to get Tuesday afternoon's out of your shirt."

_Mrs. Norman, that deep ruby red_...Noah shook his head. _Don'__t think about that._ He swallowed and met his mother's gaze briefly. "Sorry."

She sighed again, sadly this time, and placed her hand over the one of his not busily stuffing his face. "Noah, I want what's best for you. All I can say is, if she really is a nice girl, then maybe that might be an improvement. Does she care about you? Does she seem to want what's best for you? Do you feel like a better man with her? _That'__s _what I want for you, not those panthers –"

"Cougars," Noah said, his speech bypassing his brain again. _Oh, dude,_ seriously?_ Did I just correct my mom about the term _cougars? _Not cool_...

"-- or whatever!" Mady concluded. "I want you to be with someone close to your _own_ age, who makes you feel like you can be a better person." Her eyes went vague as she added softly, "Definitely not one who makes you feel like _less _of yourself."

_Aw shit_...Noah sighed, putting his fork down reluctantly and rising to round the table and give his mother a hug. "I know, Ma, and I swear, someday, I will. It's just...right now..."

She lifted her head to kiss his cheek. "I know, right now it's not so important to you, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know, Noah. I just want you to know that you deserve that. Fair?"

He kissed the top of her head and sat back down. "Fair," he answered.

They finished their blintzes in peace.

***

Rachel sighed, setting her hairbrush down after her requisite hundred strokes. _Why is it every time I try to help that boy, I end up messing it up worse?_ She slathered moisturizer on her face, twisting back and forth in the mirror to scrutinize every pore. She stopped and stared herself down in the mirror. _What are you trying to prove, Rachel?_ _Whether or not he_'_s second best to you, you_'_re second best to _him.

She crossed to her laptop, determined. _Four simple words, every morning. _She printed out the page with a satisfied sigh.

The Sectionals sign in front of her elliptical was momentarily eclipsed by the words, LEAVE NOAH PUCKERMAN ALONE.

* * *

**Musical note: **Noah is singing "Life Will Go On" by Chris Isaak.

**A.N**: Well, that's _one_ song down. :) Let me know what you think! I had never intended on writing anything with Puck's mom, but she kind of just showed up. Hope you didn't mind. :)


	2. Rachel's Song

**Chapter 2**: **Rachel's Song**

**A.N.: **Thank you to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, author alerted and favorite storied me! :) Glad you're enjoying.

Also to clarify, timeline. I wasn't quite sure where I was going to put this, but I think it's AU after Hairography. I don't like what they did to Puck in that ep, so I'm going to take this opportunity to fix it. :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. But I'm hoping to get it for Christmas.

* * *

Rachel sat on the stool in jeans and a sweater, rolling her shoulders to release the tension. _It'__s like performing for the first time again_...The guitar felt alien yet familiar in her grip. _I can'__t believe how long it'__s been since I played guitar on stage. _She strummed and tuned. _Maybe I can sacrifice the skirts now and then, it might be worth it to broaden my musical reputation. _She took a breath, picking out the melody and letting the song pour out.

_**"**__**Remember all the things we wanted?  
Now all our memories, they'**__**re haunted,  
We were always meant to say goodbye**_..._**  
Even without fists held high,  
Never would'**__**ve turned out right,  
We were never meant for do or die**_...**_"_**

Noah closed the door silently behind him and sat in the shadows. _Damn,_ _I feel like a stalker. But the Every Breath You Take kind. Like a _good_ one. Maybe I _can_ talk to her. She hates Mercedes. Maybe she'll side with me. Obviously won't tell her details, just that Mercedes told me to back off something I want. She's ambitious, she'll get it. Is she wearing _jeans? He sat back to listen.

**_"_**_**I didn'**__**t want us to burn out, I**_...  
_**Didn****'**__**t come here to hurt you,  
I can****'**__**t stop**_...

_**I want you to know  
That it doesn****'**__**t matter  
Where we take this road,  
Someone****'**__**s gotta go**_..._**  
And I want you to know,  
You couldn****'**__**t have loved me better,  
But I want you to move on,  
So I****'**__**m already gone**_..."

Rachel kept her eyes tightly shut against her tears. _I only ever meant well, damn it. For Noah, for Finn, for me_..._I only ever want to help_...She looked out towards the bleachers.

_**"**__**Looking at you makes it harder,  
But I know you****'**__**ll find another,  
That doesn****'**__**t always make you wanna cry**_..._**  
Started with a perfect kiss, then  
We could feel the poison set in**__ - **  
Perfect couldn****'**__**t keep this love alive**_...

_**You know that I love you so, I**_..._**  
I love you enough  
to let you go**_..._**"**_

The chorus came around again and Noah swallowed hard. _That line_..._why does that line make me feel_..._itchy?_ 'I love you enough to let you go'. _What the hell does _that _mean?_ _You don't let go if you really love someone. You fight for them. _He looked up at her and watched the tears that escaped as she sang. Something tugged in his chest and he sighed as he got up and left the auditorium. _Whatever the hell it means, I don_'_t think I have the right to sit there and watch her cry._

_**"**__**I****'**__**m already gone**_..._**  
I****'**__**m already gone**_..._**  
You can****'**__**t make it feel right,  
When you know that it****'**__**s wrong**_..._**  
I****'**__**m already gone,  
Already gone**_..._**  
There****'**__**s no moving on,  
So I****'**__**m already gone**_..._**"**_

As the last note rang in the silence, Rachel jumped in surprise. _That was the door closing._

_Who was listening?_

***

Noah sat in the music room with the lights off. He picked out an absent melody on the guitar, not really playing at all. Just enough to soothe him. _This _sucks, _dude. For once I _want _to do the right thing and I'm _still _getting flack for it. What the hell does Mercedes know anyway? _

The door opened and the light flicked on, followed by a curse. "What the hell you doin' up there in the dark, white boy?"

_Figures. _"Trying to figure out where to hide the body when I kill you. There's a lot of body to hide," he smirked.

"Oh, you better watch what you--" Mercedes caught herself. "Look, about before. I was a bitch. Who am I kidding, I _am_ a bitch. But you're an ass, ya know. You _slept with your best friend's girl."_

"But I didn't force her! We were _both _drinking. I didn't do anything she didn't want!" he protested. _Why am I always the bad guy? _

Climbing the risers to sit next to him, she laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know," she reassured softly. "I may think you're an ass, but you're not that guy." She looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Did I- did I actually hurt your feelings?"

"I don't _have _any," he scoffed. _None that I'm sharing with _you_ anyway._

Mercedes shook her head. "Yeah, yeah you do. And I hurt them." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Puck. For real."

He brushed her hand off his shoulder. "Whatever." _Like I care about what you say anyway. Talking to Berry wasn't 'cause I was upset, I just like trashing people._

"No, _not w_hatever. I really _am _sorry. You may be an idiot, but you aren't the _only _idiot here. You gotta know, though, nothing's gonna change. She chose _Finn_. She wants _him _to be the father. If you give a damn about her -- hell, if you give a damn about the _baby _-- you need to let her know you're there, and then back off and let her _choose _you. Forcing your way in ain't gonna do anything but ruin a bunch of lives."

_'I love you enough to let you go...' _The line played through his head unbidden. _So _that's _what it means, _he bitterly realized. "But it's so hard to leave it alone," he protested quietly. "I'm no _deadbeat_."

"Puck, no one says you are. Well, no one knows enough to think...never mind, point is you're _not_. And Quinn knows that, even if she won't admit it. So what's this _really _about anyway?"

_My daughter. _He looked at Mercedes but the moment was broken as the door opened and the rest of the club poured in. He put the angry look back on and Mercedes stood and walked away.

Rachel started to move towards him, but stopped at the look on his face. _Leave Noah Puckerman alone, Rachel. _She dropped into the nearest empty seat in the row immediately below him. _Just in case he changed his mind..._She pulled her sheet music out of her bag for lack of anything else to do, but didn't focus on it.

Instead she listened to the melody softly floating from the guitar behind her.

_Is that...? Could he...? _She turned her head slightly, to watch his fingers on the chords. _You've _got _to be kidding me. _

She looked up at him then, willing her heart to stay out of her eyes. _He's hung up on Quinn, don't get your hopes up._ _And you're still hung up on Finn. _"Noah? Is there some reason you're playing Kelly Clarkson?"

His fingers faltered on the strings. "What are you talking about, Berry?"

"It was _you_," she insisted. "Someone was in the auditorium this morning, and I think it was you." _How much did you hear, I wonder..._She looked at him questioningly. "But why?"

Mr. Schuester chose that moment to walk in, and Noah breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank you, Mr. Schue._

Rachel only narrowed her eyes at him. "I still want to know _why_, Noah."

_Damn. She won't give up until I say something. _"Payback for you invading my space," he curtly replied. "Your song sucked."

"Yeah, that's why you were playing it when you weren't paying attention. Nice try." Rachel opened her mouth to continue, but closed it. _Leave Noah Puckerman _alone_, Rachel! _She sighed as she turned her attention to Mr. Schue._ Would help if he returned the favor, _she thought sourly.

_***_

Noah lingered in the hall until he saw Rachel at her locker, and waited until she was hidden behind its open door before making his approach.

Rachel sighed heavily as she hoisted the thin fabric guitar case on her back. _Now I remember why I don't play the guitar as much, this is exceedingly unwieldy. _She hefted the handle of her rolling backpack and closed the locker door, jumping a foot in the air as Noah's face appeared behind it. "Noah Puckerman! You scared the daylights out of me!" She'd dropped the handle of her bag and both of them bent to retrieve it. Noah's face was an inch from hers as they straightened, the smell of cherry slushie and a hint of tobacco wafting toward her as he exhaled. She shuddered ever so slightly. _Damn erotic nose-brain._ She tried not to flinch at the spark from the touch of his hand as he relinquished the handle to her.

"Um, sorry, Berry." _Dude, you're a stud, what's with this apologizing and crap? Man up! _"I, uh...your song didn't suck so bad," he offered.

_What does he want? _"Um, thanks," she said quietly. _This is extremely unsettling. _"I'm sorry for eavesdropping the other day. It's just...that song, it sounded so sad." She looked at him then, searching his eyes. "Do you...perhaps...want to talk about it now?"

He ran a hand awkwardly over the back of his head. "Uh, _no."_ _Then _what_, idiot? What are you trying to accomplish here? _"But I wanted to ask you something. About your song. There was a line in there. I just...I didn't really get it." _Or I just don't want to believe what I think it means._

Rachel looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. _He wants to talk about the meaning of song lyrics? Seriously?_ "Um, sure, ask away."

"I love you enough to let you go," he said quietly, scuffing a shoe on the ground and not meeting her gaze.

Rachel blinked as her heart skipped a beat. _Wow. Did _not _see that coming. _She took a breath. "Um...it's about caring about someone so much that, well, that you let them go, you let them make their own choices, even though it breaks your heart. That you love someone so deeply to want what's best for them, even..." She swallowed. "Even when it's not _you._" _Even when it's Quinn. Again._

He nodded once, slowly. _Yeah, that'__s what I thought. Damn it. _"Thanks, Berry," he replied, and turned and walked away.

_I must have stepped into the twilight zone._ Rachel sighed, and wheeled her bag out to the parking lot to wait for her fathers.

***

Noah sat in his truck, gazing out in the direction of the football field. _I'__m not that guy. I'__m not a deadbeat, I'__m not a loser. I'__m _not._ But Quinn isn'__t giving me a chance to prove it._ He looked down at his phone. _Okay, so maybe she _did _give me a chance and I screwed it up. But what does she expect? I'__m a guy! _ He ran a hand down his face. _And I'__m scared._ He swallowed. _Whoa. I'__m actually _scared. _That'__s not badass. Is that what it is? I'__m trying so hard to prove that I'__m still a badass and not be a deadbeat at the same time, so I come off like an _idiot _instead?_

_And what the hell am I doing actually _thinking_ about this? _He shook his head to clear it. _I'__m turning into a girl. _He watched as Rachel primly took a seat on a bench outside the school, dwarfed by the guitar case. He snickered. _She looks ridiculous with that thing on her back. _He gave her a once-over from the privacy of the truck. _But those jeans look awesome. _He started the truck and drove up to the bench. "Hey Berry," he called. "Get in."

Rachel's eyebrows met her hairline in surprise. "Um, thanks!" _I'__m not going to second guess this. _She took the guitar carefully off her back to climb into the cab, pulling her backpack and the case in after her. She positioned both in front of her and closed the door, texting her dad that she'd gotten a ride.

Noah looked over at her and snickered. "You know the long, thin neck of the guitar case, between your legs like that --"

"You are repulsive!" Rachel interjected, scandalized. "Must _everything_ be sexual? And here I had hoped that your effort to discern the underlying meaning of those song lyrics was indicative of unexpected depths to your personality, Noah." _And I _know _you have them, I caught a glimpse for a little bit_...She shook herself. _Leave him _alone_, Rachel!_

He snorted as he drove. "Yeah, because the girl who told the Celibacy Club to put out and humped Finn onstage can really talk." _You'__re as frisky as the rest of us._

Rachel blushed deeply. _I should have known that would come back to haunt me. _"I may have made...inappropriate comments or behaved..._wantonly_, in a misguided effort to attract Finn's attention, or to insure the success of Glee, but if you notice I do not act that way normally, nor do I express such...desires...in public. Such efforts have proven entirely unsuccessful." _No thanks to Kurt setting me up._ She angled the neck of the guitar case towards the dashboard.

Noah glanced over and guffawed. "Dude, that makes it even worse."

_Huh? _Rachel looked down. "Noah!" she exclaimed, exasperated. "You are...infuriating!"

"And you're a nosy know it all. It evens out," he said with a smirk.

"You --! I -- you are _--_!" _This is why I wrote that damn sign! _"You are absolutely _maddening_." _In every way! _She concentrated on taking deep, even breaths.

Noah smiled a Puck smile. "Maybe it's 'cause I know that even if you don't normally act all sexy and stuff, on the inside you're just as horny and pent up as the rest of us." He raised his eyebrows at her suggestively, blowing her an exaggerated smacking kiss.

"Ooo, you cad!" Rachel burst out, smacking his arm. "Does it make you feel that much better about yourself to act like an oversexed juvenile cretin? Is proving your so-called-'badassness' worth never living up to your potential? You _are _visually appealing, Noah, but I know, whether _you _acknowledge it or not, that you are also vocally talented and intelligent. Perhaps not as talented and intelligent as I, but you have shown yourself to be completely capable of much more than this. You own your own business, your ingenious but nonetheless illegal strategy for maximizing our income from the bake sale was a great success -- there's more to you than cougars and Slushies, Noah, but for some incomprehensible reason you find that repugnant." She crossed her arms angrily and turned to stare out the window.

Noah sat speechless, glancing over at a red light to see Rachel furiously glaring at the scenery. _Dude. Seriously? Rachel Berry thinks _I_ have potential? _He frowned at the road as he remembered her saying something to that effect right before he'd found himself on the receiving end of a Slushie attack. "You weren't just saying that when we were together 'cause you liked making out with me?" he blurted.

_Is he _that_ oblivious?! _Rachel's eyes widened in disbelief, and she rolled them at him as she turned back to face him. "Noah. While I _did _enjoy our more intimate moments," she held up a hand at the leer that rose to his lips, "I pride myself on my veracity. I would not have said how proud I was to have you on my arm in front of the whole school if I hadn't meant it." She looked ahead of them. "Green light," she prompted, pointing back at the road.

* * *

**Musical note: **Rachel's song is "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, the Stripped Sessions version.

**A.N.: **Love it? Hate it? Out of character? Leave a review and let me know!!


	3. How to Cope with Times Square

**Chapter Three: **How to Cope with Times Square

**A.N.**: Sorry for the delay in posting this, trying to work on two fics simultaneously and failing. LOL.

To those of you who actually took the time to review -- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You make me want to keep writing. :)

**Disclaimer**: I still don't owe Glee. Those darn DVDs need to come out sooner!

* * *

"Thanks again, Noah," Rachel said softly as he pulled up to her house. "And I meant what I said, you know. I think your unrealized potential is exponentially greater than you credit yourself. If you wish to improve your intellectual achievement, I am an extremely competent tutor, and likely slightly ahead of you academically." _Rachel! That is _not _leaving him alone! _"And if you wish to extend your vocal range, I would be pleased to assist in that endeavor as well." Her heart overruled her head as she smiled at him.

Noah looked at her, hopeful and waiting. "Shouldn't you be making that offer to your lover boy?" he mocked. _Damn it, Puckerman! Why do you have to be an ass all the time?_

Rachel's eyes dimmed. _See? This is what happens when you try to be nice to Noah Puckerman._ "Never mind, then," she said quietly, looking away. "Thanks for the ride." She threw open the door, and practically tossed her backpack and her guitar onto her front lawn before jumping out and slamming it behind her. _Idiot. You know better than that, Rachel. _She hoisted the guitar on her back and angrily grabbed for the handle of her backpack, dropping it repeatedly in her haste. _Come on! _

"Lemme get that," his voice came from behind her.

She dropped the handle again, startled. _When did he get out of the truck? _"Damn it!" she berated herself.

He smirked and picked up the bag. "Berry, a curse? I didn't think those were part of your vocabulary."

"I can curse you out in four languages," she muttered darkly as she tried to wrest her bag from his grip. _Just let go and go away! _When he refused to relinquish the bag, she turned her back to him. "Maybe I _should_," she continued to herself, and stalked to the door.

_Yeah, okay. I deserve that. _He brought her backpack up with him, dropping it unceremoniously on the porch. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I just...I'm all screwed up in the head right now, and you're an easy target."

"Gee, thanks," Rachel sarcastically replied as she unlocked the door. _Should've listened to the sign..._She grabbed the backpack and stepped inside. "Is there anything _else_, Noah?" _I will _not _ask him what's wrong. I will _not. _He can share or-_

"I, um...Berry, I'm..." _Damn it, Puckerman, spit it out or just leave! _"What do you do when you have to clear your head? Like, I know it's got to be, you know,_ Times Square_ up in your head. How do you make it all just...shut up?" The words came out in a rush, and Noah took a deep breath when he finished.

_And again, unexpected. _Rachel sighed. "I will choose to ignore the disparaging tone in which you stated I might be able to assist you, based on my _highly _developed thought processes and the resulting profundity of cognitive activity occurring simultaneously-"

_And this is why you don't ask Rachel Berry anything. _Noah rolled his eyes. "Never mind, Berry, just forget I-"

"I sing. A lyrically relevant piece, of course."

_Of course she does._ "Yeah, I don't-"

"You don't have to sing, necessarily. I choose to perform because it's..." She sighed, looked off to some spot over Noah's shoulder as her eyes went dreamy. "It's the only time where I'm guaranteed to feel worthy, and special." _And not like the school freak._ "I never...I never _doubt _myself when I sing," she finished quietly. _Unlike every other minute of the day. _"And then I choose a song that says the things that I can't." She cleared her throat, refocusing on him. "But, as I said, not necessarily the same activity. So, I guess try something you know you're good at," she offered.

Noah smirked and started to respond when she held up a hand.

_Oh, good job, Rachel, what do you _think _he's going to say he's good at?! _"Please, Noah, spare me whatever it is you are about to tell me, as I am nearly certain it is vulgar or crude." _I don't need to hear you talking about your conquests._

He smiled widely. "Hey, maybe you _do _know me after all." He turned and started down the walk. "Thanks, Berry," he tossed over his shoulder.

She stood in the doorway, waiting until his truck was out of sight before closing the door.

***

_Something I'm good at, huh? _He took his cell phone out of his pocket, and sent a text to Santana. "_Nice boobs. Wanna screw? My place, 20 minutes."_

***

Rachel sighed heavily as she hauled her guitar and backpack up the stairs. _Okay, there was _definitely_ a reason I stopped playing guitar at school! _She placed both items in their designated areas, and dropped herself on the bed. "That was an exceedingly atypical day," she said to no one. _What on earth could have him so preoccupied? And why was he so shocked to hear I believe he has potential? Does he not realize I wouldn'__t have deigned to date him, albeit briefly, had I no faith that he is capable of transcending our humble beginnings?_ With a sigh, she moved to her closet to change. _Pay attention to the sign, Rachel. Do your homework, and get him out of your head!_

And so she did. With typical Rachel Berry determination, she conquered her homework.

Also typical, across town, Noah Puckerman conquered Santana Lopez.

***

_That kind of_..._sucked._ He looked down at Santana, lying sweaty and spent on his left arm. _I just want her to go away._ He scratched his head with his free hand. _My brain still hurts, this didn't do any good. _He looked down at her boobs and smirked. _Well, okay. Maybe a little. _

"Get out," he barked.

"Not a moment too soon," she replied with equal hostility. She got dressed and left without another word.

Noah heard the door slam and got up to watch Santana peel out of his driveway. _Now what?_ He threw himself back on the bed. _So Aretha was right. I have to quit trying so hard. _Rachel's voice came back to him -- "You want it too much." _But I'__m not a deadbeat, I deserve to be a part of this! _ He punched his mattress in frustration. _Damn it. _Rachel's voice teased at his memory again. "And then I choose a song that says the things that I can't," she'd said.

_Maybe I can try that. Damn it. I'__m gonna have to wake up _stupid_ early to beat Berry to the auditorium._ He thumped his head against the mattress before heading to the shower.

***

Early the next morning, Noah flipped on the stage lights and dragged the stool out to center stage. _This is so lameass. That'__s the one good thing about having to beat Berry here, _no one_ else would be here. I'__ll go back and take a nap in the truck. It'__ll be perfect. _He took his guitar out of its case lovingly and tuned it quickly. _If this doesn't work, I'm gonna be so pissed. _He closed his eyes and started to play.

***

Rachel closed her locker and headed to the auditorium. _Ugh! What disquieting dreams. I couldn_'_t even leave him alone in my sleep! _She sighed. _Fortuitous, then, that I have the perfect song. _She opened the door and stopped dead. _I must be hallucinating due to lack of REM sleep. Noah Puckerman is not on my stage. He is not singing. He is not. _She closed the door quietly and slipped into a seat, once again.

***

Noah poured himself into the song, eyes clenched tightly shut. _All the things I can'__t say, right?_

_**"On my deathbed, I will pray  
****to the gods and the angels.  
Like a pagan, to anyone  
who will take me to heaven**_...  
_**To a place I recall,  
I was there so long ago**_...  
_**The sky was bruised,  
The wine was bled,  
And there you led me on..." **_

Rachel sat, still as a statue, listening. _Oh, Noah_..._What happened between you two? _She gazed at the slump of his shoulders. _Was babysitting _more_ than babysitting? Was that why Quinn needed Finn to be distracted?_

Noah shook his head and stilled his fingers on the strings, opening his eyes with a curse. _Isn't that what I wanted to say? That's what I want, right? To be with Quinn. _He strummed idly. _Right? _"Damn it," he muttered. "This was supposed to clear my head, not make me _more _confused!" He looked out towards the bleachers. _I _thought_ that's what I wanted..._He frowned. _But she's such a bitch! To _me_, anyway. And to Berry. And Finn. And pretty much everyone else if she's in a bad mood. Do I really want that all the time? _He sighed as Mercedes' question and his answer played through his head. _This is about my daughter, _he realized. _Not Quinn and me. _That's _what I want to say. _That's_ what I need to clear my head about. But how?_ He picked out a melody on the guitar. _Damn it. It doesn_'_t sound right. _He looked over at the piano. _No. I told myself I wouldn_'_t. Not when it reminds me of when he left. _He put the guitar down and walked over to the piano, trailing his fingers lightly over the keys.

_What is he doing?_ Rachel wondered. _The piano?_

He sat on the bench and let out a breath. _There'__s no one here. If we'__re talking about what I can'__t say, it'__s that song. And unlike my deadbeat sperm donor, I _mean_ what I'm singing. _He touched the keys gingerly, trying to find the right pressure, and started to play.

Rachel watched, entranced, as Noah caressed the keys, and beautiful chords filled the auditorium. _I stand corrected. Why on earth has he never played before? _The rich tones he coaxed from the piano swept Rachel along with them. She closed her eyes with a dreamy sigh as he began to sing.

_This is for you. Even if I never know you, even if she never lets me near you_..._ Even though I never meant for this to happen_..._I_..._I lo-_ He shook his head and instead sang softly from memory.

_**"**__**Goodnight, my angel  
Time to close your eyes,  
And save these questions for another day**_...  
_**I think I know what you've been asking me**_...  
_**I think you know what I've been trying to say**_...  
_**I promised I would never leave you,  
And you should always know --  
Wherever you may go,  
No matter where you are,  
I never will be far away**_..._**"**_

Rachel covered her mouth with her hand. _Oh no. No. It can'__t – he couldn'__t – she _wouldn't. _But_..._but he'__s singing a lullaby. Billy Joel'__s lullaby. To his daughter._

_His daughter._

_Oh Noah_...

* * *

**Musical note: **The first song Noah attempts is "Like a Stone" by Audioslave. The second is "Lullabye (Good Night My Angel)" by Billy Joel, written for his daughter.

**A.N.**: Review please????


	4. Just Breathe

**Chapter 4 – Just Breathe**

**A.N.**: Sorry this update took longer than I meant it to! I've been struggling with whether to make this fit canon (or attempt to _force _it into canon, more accurately) or not. In the end, I've put my twist on the happenings in Sectionals. Hope it doesn't seem _too _forced -- I actually kind of like it. Enjoy!

* * *

Rachel slammed out of the auditorium, wandering the halls in a daze._ It can't be. I'm just letting my overactive imagination get the best of me. There's no way they would do that to Finn. It's simply impossible._ She went through her day on auto-pilot, uncharacteristically quiet as she struggled to process what she'd inadvertently heard. _I really need to just leave the auditorium if he's there.  
_  
_Perhaps I misinterpreted his song selection. Perhaps he was merely expressing his desire to be more connected to Quinn, and he was simply misinformed as to the nature of the song. _She forced herself to be satisfied with that answer, forced herself to overlook the clear references to family legacy and lineage.

And then she walked into Glee.

Noah looked up at her searchingly. _I know it had to be you in the auditorium, Berry. But how much did you hear and what did you __think__ of it?_

Rachel looked away from his penetrating gaze. _He heard me there...and _I_ heard _him_._ She peeked up under her lashes at him looking at Quinn. _It all makes so much sense now. Why he joined, why he watches her all the time...But it _can't_ be. Quinn would never do that to Finn._ She pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind as rehearsal began, turning to the work of performing.

And then she watched Quinn fall. _Oh my gosh! _she thought, reaching out towards Quinn. She froze, and watched as Noah rushed to Quinn's aid. _No..._No_, this can't be right. _She heard the thread of panic laced through his voice. _This can't be right. _She heard Quinn's exasperated dismissal of _both_ boys and looked from one to the other. Finn looked concerned, but Noah..._This _can't_ be right. _Noah looked terrified. _But I know I'm not wrong. It's what I've trained for, to pick up on nuance so I can convey it. Oh, Noah. _Her stomach twisted into knots. _I know I'm not wrong. That baby isn't Finn's. Noah and Quinn slept together._

_It's Noah's baby._

***

Noah waited at her locker after Glee let out, glaring sourly down the hall. _Should've known. The auditorium is _never_ safe from Rachel Berry. And she always stays to listen to me. Which, what the hell? Shouldn't she be pining for Saint Finn instead?_ He rolled his eyes as he saw her round the corner. _Best get this over with._ "Eavesdropping is rude, Berry," he growled as she walked up to him.

_Oh yes. Definitely his child, _she concluded. _No other reason for him to give enough of a damn to talk to me about what I heard, _she thought bitterly. Rachel only looked at him, hurt, anger, disappointment in her gaze. "Did you know, Noah? When we were together?"

That's _what she wants to know? _"What does it matter?" he answered dismissively. "It's not like that mess meant anything. You're a hot Jew, that's all. I didn't even touch your boobs, so it doesn't count."

_It meant something to _me_..._She searched his face, as though seeing him for the first time. _Maybe _too _much...And definitely more than I want it to. _"That's a yes, then," she whispered softly. _And why _would _it matter to him? You were both just placeholders for the ones you can't have._ Rachel ignored the jealousy welling up again and turned her attention to the wounded boy before her. "Noah-"

"You keep your mouth shut, Berry," he warned, "or we're back to slushies." _Don't screw this up, Berry, I don't want to be that guy again but I will if I have to.  
_  
She shook her head. _Whether you believe it or not, you wouldn't. You're not just Puck anymore_. "He's your best friend, Noah," she said gently. "And you're both lying to him."

He punched the locker next to her as Rachel jumped. "You don't think I know that? You think this is _my_ call?" he protested. _Screw you, Berry. Screw you. I may have made a mistake but I _want _to __take __responsibility for it__, damn it._

_Oh, Noah..._Rachel's heart broke just a little at the pain so evident on his face. "She can't force you to lie. She can't make that choice for you. You have rights."

"She'll say I forced her, that I got her drunk and took advantage of her," he said curtly. _Even though I think maybe _she_ took advantage of _me_._ "And it'd be her word against mine." He left the rest unspoken -- _I'm not a nice guy, and she's Queen of the Chastity Ball._

Rachel looked up at him in disbelief. _Oh, Noah...What kind of person do you see in the mirror? How do _I _believe in you more than _you _do?_ "Noah," she murmured softly, laying a hand on his arm. "I will stand up for you if she even tries. You were nothing but a gentleman with me. You're a _good person_, Noah. Maybe just a little..._lost_." She tried to catch his eyes, tried to convey her faith in him through her gaze.

_I'm not a nice guy, everyone _knows _I'm not. _He shook his head, shrugging off her hand. "Just keep your mouth shut," he ordered, and left her standing alone.

***

Noah punched another locker as he headed towards the parking lot. _Damn it, she's _never_ gonna keep her mouth shut. Not with a shot at Saint Finn. _He ran a hand over his eyes in frustration. _But...wouldn't that be a relief? It'd be out, Quinn would _have_ to let me in. _He stopped walking as the wheels in his head kept turning_. If Rachel tells Finn, he'll believe her. And I won't have to look my best friend in the eye __and__ tell him I screwed his girlfriend and knocked her up,_ he admitted to himself. _This might actually work._

He turned around to head back in search of Berry. _She's gonna be in the auditorium, I'm sure she will. _He opened the door quietly, shutting it silently behind him as he contemplated his approach. _I just threatened to slushy her if she told. Now what? Hey Berry, forget I said that, go ahead and tell him so Quinn can't blame me for outing us and I'm free to be part of my daughter's life?_ With a sigh, he sat in the back row to wait for Rachel to finish.

***

Rachel sat at the piano, stifling a small sob._ Did that really mean _nothing _to him? Was I strategy to get Quinn to let him in? This is what you get for lying, Rachel. You told him you were using him, and it turns out to be the other way. Quinn wins again. And you end up _alone_ again._ She set her fingers to the keys, playing the opening strains of the song she'd intended to sing in the morning -- before the world had gone mad._ This isn't my fight. __It n__ever was. Kurt was right. I'm just a distraction. I just sing. That's all I do. Everything else -- friends, lovers -- I just keep screwing that up. Just sing, Rachel. Just _sing_._

She closed her eyes and cleared her mind, letting thoughts of Noah, Quinn and Finn all fade away. _Leave Noah Puckerman _alone_...now more than ever. Let that all_..._unravel_..._on its own. I'm not the understudy -- I'm the _star_. This is the last song I'll sing because of him. The last time I'll give him the power to affect me._ Eyes still closed, she filled the auditorium with the quiet power of the turmoil inside her.

_**"Help, I have done it again...  
I have been here many times before...  
Hurt myself again today,  
And the worst part is, there's no one else to blame..."**_

As he listened, Noah smirked. _Still pining for Saint Finn, as I thought. This'll be _easy_. She gets Finn, I get a say in my daughter's life. Win__-__win. I just tell her I changed my mind. _

_**"Be my friend -- **_**hold**_** me**__**.**__**  
Wrap me up -- **_**unfold**_** me**_..._**  
I am small,  
and needy.  
Warm me up...  
And breathe me..."**_

Rachel trailed the last into an anguished whisper. _For once, _just _once, I want to be _loved_. _Me_, not Quinn. __For someone to _be _there_, _to _want _me_. _Is that too much to ask?_

Noah shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the raw emotions in her voice and on her face started to register. _Damn. Maybe I shouldn't be here. Or I should interrupt her. Something._ That same itchy feeling her last song had caused reared its head again. _What the hell do I care, anyway? _

_**"Ouch -- I have lost myself again.  
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,  
Yeah, I think that I might break...  
Lost myself again**__**,**__** and I feel unsafe..."**_

Noah looked at her, pouring her heart into a song no one would hear. _Berry, losing herself? Breaking down? __Yeah right. __Never happening. Like seriously never. She knows herself better than anyone...And no one ever gets her down. Never. _But something twisted in his stomach as he looked at the vulnerable girl in front of him, pouring her heart out to the empty seats. _Right?_

_**"Be my friend -- hold me  
Wrap me up -- unfold me  
I am small,  
and needy.  
Warm me up...  
And breathe me...**_

_**Be my friend...  
hold me.  
Wrap me up...  
unfold me.  
I am small...  
and needy...  
Warm me up..."**_

Rachel's voice trailed off, and with a sigh, she pleaded to her phantoms,_**"And breathe me..."**_

Rachel attacked the piano, pour her frustrations and pain into the ivory. _No matter how hard I try, it's never enough. _I'm_ never enough, not for them. I just need to survive this, that's all. It's lonely at the top. That's all. _As the last note faded to silence, she opened her eyes.

Noah shifted uncomfortably in his seat in the back. _Crap. I should've left. I could just - _He moved to leave, and the seat closed with a soft, but audible, thud.

Rachel's gaze darted to the shadows. "Jacob, if that's you, I _swear _I will get that restraining order this time!"

_Damn it._ Noah swallowed hard, and summoned a smirk. "If you haven't gotten one by now, I'd have to guess you like the attention, Berry." He sauntered out of the back row and down the aisle towards her.

_What the..._"Pardon me, but what _exactly _are you doing here? And just how _long _have you been there?" Her heart rate picked up speed. _Relax, Rachel. Even__ if he heard, guaranteed he thinks-_

"You mean did I hear your Ode to Saint Finn? Yeah, I did, great job." He clapped sarcastically as he slouched into a seat in the front row.

"Is there some motivation behind your stalkerish display?"

"You only _wish _I wanted to stalk you, Berry."

"Perhaps football _has _damaged your brain."

They eyed each other warily.

"So?" she said, arching a brow.

_Damn it._ He ran his hand over his head. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? About the whole, you know, slushy threat. It's just..." He looked up at her, with a bitter half-smile. "It's been really crappy to keep this from Finn. I keep snapping at him, waiting for him to just figure it the hell out. I'm pretty sure everyone else knows."

Rachel frowned, shaking her head. "Noah, how would anyone else even-"

"I kind of blurted it out to Mercedes."

"_Oh._" She bit her lip. _And I can't even reassure you, since they _surely _wouldn't __share that with_ me_._ She looked at him with a sigh. _For the same reason you threatened me. Everyone expects me to tell. _"Am I _really_ so selfish?" she whispered.

_Wait, _what? "Is that a _trick _question?" he blurted.

_Ouch._ She turned back to the piano as she swallowed a pained cry. _Well, that answers that._

_Damn it, great job, Puckerman. Talk about the wrong thing to say. _"Um, Berry..."

She didn't acknowledge him as she began to play a melancholy melody.

_Seriously? _"Fiona Apple, Berry? That's unexpected." He looked at her, still not responding to his voice, and noticed her frowning and swallowing hard over and over. _Oh hell. _"Berry - "

_"You'll never see the courage I know.  
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view_..._  
I'll never glow__, __the way that you glow__.__  
Your presence dominates the judgments made on you... "_

She leaned into the piano, sighing soundlessly through her fingertips into the keys. _You figured out he wasn't second choice just a little too late, Rachel. No Noah, no Finn. Just you._

_"But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights_..._  
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception__.__  
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights  
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you_

_You'll say you understand, but you don't understand__.__  
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye__.__  
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie..."  
_  
She dropped her hands from the keys. "Is there something else you wanted, _Puck?_" Her voice is pointed on his nickname, but utterly worn and weary.

_Crap. _"Um, Berry, I..."

Rachel looked at him with bright eyes and a false smile. "Don't think I don't know exactly how everyone sees me. I'm not _oblivious_, Puck. I'm 'desperate', 'dramatic', and utterly _alone_. How could I _possibly_ do _anything_ but seize the opportunity to spectacularly claim the boy that I want? _So_ spectacularly, I'd never have to worry he'd go back to her? It's not like it would, hmm, perhaps, destroy people's lives. Or, actually, that's acceptable collateral damage." She shoved the piano stool out from underneath her and stood, turning her back to him to exit through the dressing rooms. "You needn't have apologized for the threat, Puck. You mean it." She was nearly off stage when he ran up behind her, and his hand was on her arm, drawing her around to face him. "Let go this-"

"I _want_ you to tell him."

"I'm sorry? I must have misheard."

"No...I -- I want you to tell him. I...I _need _you to. You're kind of the only one who _can_."

Rachel pressed her hand to her temple as she attempted to follow his logic. "You've gone, in the span of no more than seven minutes, from threatening me with something you _personally _know to be deeply humiliating, to wanting me to reveal your greatest secret?" _I must be going mad._

Noah sighed, releasing her arm and shoving his hands into his pockets. "Look, I...I really want to take responsibility. I figure if _you_ told Finn, he'd believe you, even if Quinn tried to lie to him again. He...he _likes _you, Berry, even if he doesn't want to. So, you get Saint Finn, and I get to not be a deadbeat. We both get what we want."

_Do we? _she wondered as she stared at him sadly. "He'll hate you, you know."

He shrugged. "Well, I'm sure you'll make him feel better."

_Because I'm _that _girl. _She only shook her head. "I'm not promising you anything." _That _desperate_ girl who doesn't know any better than to be a rebound. _She made the mistake of looking him in the eyes, and the pleading expression in them had her sighing as she walked away.

***

Rachel stared at herself in the mirror later that night. _So what are you doing? Are you _seriously _thinking about telling Finn?_ She groaned, and lowered her head to her hands. _Noah__ wants the chance to do the right thing. Finn will see Quinn for who she truly is. _Rachel lifted her head. _Quinn. Of course. I can try to get _her_ to give them away. That way, I would have no negative associations, the truth would be revealed. _That _would get everyone what they want. _She tilted her head to the side with a small smile. _And Noah told Mercedes. Who did__,__ in all likelihood__,__ share this information with the rest of Glee. _That's _it! I prompt someone else to slip and tell the truth. _Thus resolved, she turned her thoughts to how to most effectively set the collision course in motion.

***

And it all worked out well, to begin with. The mention of being a little psychic was _probably _over the top. _But a good test of my dramatic range_, she justified. As the Gleeks scattered, and then Mercedes actually _greeted_ her in the hall, she internally cheered. _They _do _all know! _

She initiated Phase Two, approaching Quinn about Tay-Sachs, and as she saw Quinn rush to speak to Noah at Glee, she held her breath. _Only a matter of time now._

"Does this have to happen tonight? 'Cause, I have my fight club," he said, looking furtively around the room. He caught Rachel watching surreptitiously. _I can't believe she's actually going to do it. But Quinn expects me to act like an ass. __Any participation__ has _got_ to be her idea until there's no longer a choice._

Rachel was beaming as her plans seemed well on their way. But then Finn started talking about how hard his life had been. She looked up at him, and noticed the bags under his eyes, the strain on his face. "...winning could make everything _good _for a while," he said. Before she knew it, her mouth was moving, the words pouring out.

"I want you to be _happy_, Finn...And when you care about someone, you can't sit around and watch them suffer when you know you can do something about it." _You are going to hate me for this, but...  
_

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"I have to tell you something." _Not for me, not for Noah, or Quinn...but for _your _sake, Finn. I can't wait for them to tell you. Who knows how long it would take for them to crack? You deserve better. _She took a deep breath, and dove in. "Finn...the baby...the baby's not _yours._"

***

In retrospect, if she could've swallowed her tongue, she would have, as she pressed a hand to her mouth. When Kurt outed her, she reflexively denied doing anything. _I didn't! Noah and Quinn..._She breathed deeply, pursing her lips. _You _did_ do this, Rachel, they're throwing you to the wolves. You shouldn't be surprised. _The tears ran down her face anyway, but, she bitterly remembered, they were _never_ friends. Not Noah, not the rest of them. Only Finn had sort of tried. Only he had truly attempted it. Misguided, true, but at least, just a little bit, genuine. And he deserved better.

It was easy for her to lie to Quinn. She said exactly what Quinn _expected_ to hear, making sure to lay it all on her love for Finn. Noah would be free and clear.

And so when she passed him in the hallway, no words needed to be spoken. She merely looked him in the eye.

_Thank you_. He looked at her gratefully, knowing without being told that this was his one _real _shot.

_Don't screw it up, s_he thought as she gazed at him. _I've just sacrificed _my_ only real shot. I'm the one who shattered it all. _She slowly walked away.

***

Noah sat next to Quinn. _You want it, you got it. Now make sure she knows you're serious. Whatever it takes. _"So, I know you're upset now. But I want to _be _with you." _Quinn needs a boyfriend, that's the kind of girl she is. So you take the whole package, Puckerman. _"And I'm going to do everything I can to be a good dad to our baby."

"Thanks. But I honestly can't handle any more stress in my life right now."

_Wait. What? _He looked at her as his stomach turned.

"I'm going to do this on my own. I know you don't understand it. But please respect it." Quinn left him sitting alone, stunned.

_All this. All that crap with Berry, I let Finn try to beat me up...And I _still_ end up left out? Are you _kidding me?! He furiously pushed himself off the bench, slamming out into the parking lot before he screamed.

Rachel jumped as she heard the crash of the door. _Oh, just perfect. _Noah stormed out of the school, and she shrank into herself. _Oh no. That doesn't seem like a happy ending._

He scoured the parking lot for a corner to vent his frustrations and deflated as he saw Rachel shivering in the cold. _Great. Just great. _He stalked over to her and sat next to her, close enough to share some of his warmth. "Think frostbite will make him come back?"

"Does sarcasm have the girls falling at your feet?" she shot back.

"She _still _doesn't want me to help," he whispered.

"He wants nothing to do with me now," she replied.

"Really screwed the pooch on this one," he muttered.

"I can't even figure out if I did it for Finn, like I'm telling myself, for you, like I suspect, or for me, like everyone else thinks." She smiled faintly. "Ain't life funny."

She got up and walked away.

* * *

**Musical Note: **Rachel's song was "Breathe Me" by Sia, and then she did a little "Never Is a Promise" by Fiona Apple to soothe herself. :)

**A.N.**: Yeah, yeah, stretching. What can you do? Gotta work with what you're given. :) So two songs that Puck sang, two songs that Rachel sang. That leaves the one together! ;) Want me to write it? How about a review??


	5. Taking Chances

**Chapter 5 – Taking Chances**

**A.N.**: So, as you saw in the last chapter, I am going to put my own spin on "Sectionals" so this is AU for those purists out there. Otherwise, it's just me having a little fun, and hypothesizing how the situation went from fisticuffs to a happily ever after musical number. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: My Glee DVDs are in transit. I own nothing more than those.

**

* * *

**

The morning of Sectionals was bright and sunny, the perfect day. Except.

Rachel sighed as she got out of her father's car and onto the school bus. _Time for the gauntlet that is finding a seat on a school __trip_. As she looked around the bus, she tried to smile. _Kurt and Mercedes, across from each other, of course, and Santana and Brittany. Mike and Matt....Can no one sit next to people anymore? Oh, and there's Quinn..._Rachel smiled at her tentatively, and Quinn tried a half-hearted one in return, but ended up looking out the window instead. _Definitely not going there. Tina is obviously waiting for Artie. _Her gaze found Puck and she sucked in a breath. _Not going there. Not at all._ She swallowed and sat by the window by herself. _Oh no..._Rachel grimaced as she watched the necessary 12th member approach. _This may be the one moment when I doubt I did the right thing...  
_  
Jacob Ben-Israel sank onto the seat next to her.

"Hello, my abundantly breasted songbird. I am extremely gratified to be included in the launch of your career and I can't wait to reign by your side, now that an inconvenient Neanderthal has idiotically relinquished that role."

_Would that I could say the same..._She made the mistake of glancing around and caught Puck looking on with a smirk.

_I almost feel bad. Almost._ Puck sat back. _God, I am so beat._ _After all that crap, and I got nothing out of it..._He looked at Quinn, staring out the window. _Oh, get over it, Q. __He's not coming!_ He punched the empty seat in front of him, making the Gleeks jump and look at him. He smirked at them all, ignoring Quinn's glare, and stretched out in the seat at the back of the bus to let the vibrations of the wheels beneath him lull him back to sleep.

***

"Jacob!" Rachel fumed. "For the _last time_, I did _not _break Babygate, which incidentally is a _ridiculous _moniker, to have you anywhere near me!" _This is what they mean by no good deed goes unpunished. Why, Rachel, _why _did you actually give a damn about Noah Puckerman being in pain? He obviously doesn't give a damn about yours!  
_  
Puck woke with a start. _What the hell?_ He blearily lifted his head from the window. _Whoever it is is gonna get-_

Rachel continued, shoving ineffectually at Jacob. "You are repugnant and will _always_ remain so," she bit out. "You are simply a necessary evil, and one I would gratefully forgo were it not for _my _gross misjudgment precipitating our lack of the required number of members!"

Puck swallowed. Her soft words in the parking lot drifted back to him, "...for you, like I suspect..." _Hell..._He got up and moved down the aisle, ignoring Ms. Pillsbury's nervous protest, to grab the offending Jew by his collar and toss him into the vacant seat on the opposite side of the bus. "Stay," Puck ordered firmly.

"B-but Rachel and I -"

_Yeah right._ "Berry?"

She leaned around Puck. "You are a _cretin_. Stay away from me."

Puck raised a brow and faked a lunge at Ben-Israel, laughing as the idiot's flinch had him hitting his head against the window. "Got it?" Puck asked.

Jewfro nodded rapidly.

"Good." Puck turned to walk back to his seat when Rachel grabbed his arm. "Thank you, Noah," she said quietly. Seeing Ben-Israel extract a notebook, Rachel snatched her hand back. "You write anything in that blog of yours, I swear to Adonai you _will _regret it," she hissed across the aisle.

Puck smirked, grabbed the notebook, opened a window, ignored Pillsbury's squawking, and threw it from the bus.

***

Rachel was fuming as she stormed into the Green Room later that afternoon. _How dare they cheat? At least when we screw up and break the rules, it's for something _important! She caught herself with a gasp, nearly grinning deliriously as the thought crossed her mind. _Wholly inappropriate time for that, Rachel. Wholly inappropriate. Laugh later. Thank goodness I told them five minutes._ She sat down, pressing her hands to her forehead, and slowed her breathing, running a mental inventory in her head of what they needed to accomplish. _We need a ballad, and two songs we can sing together. We can do this. We can.  
_  
The Gleeks filed into the room dejectedly, claiming seats to mope in. Before Rachel could say a word, Kurt launched to his feet.

"You leaked the set list!" he accused, glaring at Brittany and Santana. "You don't want to be here, you're just Sue Sylvester's little moles."

"I know for a _fact_ that's true. Sue asked us to spy for her," Quinn said flatly as she rejoined the group from the bathroom.

Santana made an insulted sound of protest. "Look, we may still be _Cheerios_, but neither one of us gave Sue the set list," she defended.

Brittany looked up uncomfortably. "Well, I...I did, but I didn't know what she was gonna do with it," she said quietly.

Mercedes scoffed disgustedly as Santana stepped forward.

"Okay, _look_. Believe what you want, but no one's _forcing _me to be here. And if you ever tell anyone this, I'll deny it, but I _like _being in Glee Club. It's the best part of my day, okay? I wasn't gonna go and mess it up."

"I believe you," Rachel said softly from her perch on the wall. _Time to step up, Rachel, and be the captain._ "Okay, look. There's no point in us arguing anymore, we go on in an _hour-"_

"And we have _no_ songs," Tina said hopelessly.

"I could improvise some of my Def Poetry jams," Artie volunteered.

Even Tina shook her head at that as Rachel said, "No. Look, we're going to do this the _right_ way. Let's start with a ballad. Mercedes, do you have _anything _else in your repertoire?"

Mercedes sighed. "Yeah, but, it's not as good as anything _you're _gonna sing."

"No, we- we agreed-"

"We _agreed_ I would sing 'And I Am Telling You', and that ain't happening." Mercedes stood and rounded on Rachel.

Rachel looked at her blankly. _Am I dreaming? I was so ready to let it go, and now..._

"Look, Rachel, the truth is, you're the best singer that we've got." Mercedes looked at her sternly, her tone brooking no argument.

Rachel darted her eyes quickly around the room, waiting for the statement to be followed by a rain of insults and possibly a slushie. _But, I thought -- you all really don't even --_

Kurt cut in disdainfully. "As much as it hurts me to admit it -- and it _does _-- she's right. Rachel's our star. If anyone's going to go belt it on the fly, it should be _her_."

_I think my heart might gallop out of my chest._ Breathe, _Rachel._ She smiled and offered, "Well, I _do _have something that I've been working on since I was four..."

Mercedes only laughed and shook her head.

Rachel's heart swelled. _Maybe we _can _survive this...  
_  
Quinn spoke from the other side of the room. "Then I guess we have our ballad. And we can close with 'Somebody to Love'. It's a real crowd pleaser," she said, with only a slight eye roll.

Her tear-stained voice cut like razors under Puck's skin. _I'm _still _not good enough for you...for _anyone_._ _And now __I actually give a damn about something, and it ends up ruined. _His voice was bitter as he replied, "Yeah, that and a can of _soup _will guarantee us third place." _Big surprise__, everything I touch goes to crap. _"We _still _need another song we can all sing together."

Rachel turned in his direction with a blank look. _I will not kill him. I will not. But...Damn it, Noah! Must you be such a pessimistic a---_

A hush fell over the room as Gleeks started looking towards the door.

"I have one," said a familiar voice.

_Finn?!_ Rachel looked over. _Oh thank goodness!_ She smiled uncertainly as he explained his plan, but looked down at the music and smiled. _Oh, Finn. It's...perfect._ She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. "It's good to have you back, Finn," she said softly. _And no more Jacob! Maybe this can all come right in time. Or...oh no...or..._

Puck's stomach dropped as Finn turned away. _So maybe asking,"__Cool, dude?"__ was not my smartest move. Could'__ve worded that better. _He sighed. _Screw it, Berry was right. He_'_s gonna hate me_. He looked at Quinn's tearful face, saw how heartbroken she was. _But I just want to do the right thing, doesn't that get me any points?_

Rachel cringed as she watched the scene that wasn't unfold. _Noah, you _idiot_, you didn't honestly think that he'd gotten over it._ She heard Quinn call his name, but Finn walked over to her instead. "You okay?" she asked. _This is just...I'm so sorry..._Her eyes must've conveyed her sorrow as he answered.

"Don't worry about me, okay? This is all up to you now. You wanted the solo, you want the chance to be the star -- this is your chance. Don't screw it up," he said with a small smile.

_Oh no._ Rachel took a deep breath, and from the corner of her eye, she looked around the room, full of people now studiously ignoring her to cluster around their impromptu choreographers. _He's right. It's on me now. _Again_. And now that Finn is here, and they're reminded of what happened..._She swallowed. _It was so much better when we were united against Jane Adams and that deaf school._ Her hands fluttered vaguely as she resisted the urge to wring them. _How are we supposed to be a team when we're being petty and hurtful, and I'm only tolerated when they need me? _She sighed heavily and left the room. _I need to think._

Noah watched her walk out of the room with a frown. _Where the hell is she going?_ He looked around the room and realized no one, not even Finn, noticed her departure. Or at the very least, no one tried to follow. _Well, crap._ He turned his attention back to the other Gleeks dissecting the music. _Now of all freaking times? Is she that damn good that she doesn't need to look at the music?_ They discussed the moves while the minutes ticked by, and as they took a break, Puck claimed a seat on the couch.

"Frankly, I'm _shocked _she hasn't thrown herself at him," came a catty voice behind him. "I _told _you all she would tell."

_Hummel. What a bitch._ Puck turned, unsure what he intended when he heard Finn's angry voice.

"Hey, lay off her. That's what friends do. They tell you the truth, even when it hurts. _Especially _then." Finn looked at each of them. "Right?"

None of the Gleeks looked him in the eye.

"_Wait_." Finn looked at them all again as realization slowly dawned. "Kurt, did I...did I hear you say you told everyone Rachel would tell?" Kurt looked away guiltily. "You _knew?"_ Finn turned from one to the next as each turned away. "You know, I can't believe you guys. You _all _knew and only Rachel cared enough to tell the truth."

A throat was cleared, and a small voice added softly, "Noah wanted to tell you too. He didn't think he could."

Puck turned in shock to find Rachel had walked back in. _Berry, what the hell are you doing?  
_  
"I know you all don't regard me that highly for..." Rachel gestured vaguely at the room. "To be truthful, I _have _been trying, but I don't regard most of _you _that highly either. You _all_ knew and you let everyone involved suffer. For what? For _this?_ I've dreamed of this moment since I was a zygote, but it's not worth it if people you care about are torn apart." She looked from Quinn to Finn and lastly to Puck, holding his eyes for a moment, before turning back to the Gleeks clustered in the corner. _Here's hoping we can be mature about this..._She squared her shoulders and continued. "So, I suppose this is as close to an apology as you will get. I don't regret that I wanted to help my friends. I don't regret that I told the truth when no one else would. I will admit my timing was nearly disastrous, but we're here now. We're talented. We work hard. And we deserve this. So I am going to do all I can to get us there. I hope you will each do the same. If you share that limited sentiment with me, I would like to put this debacle aside and concentrate on our current quandary."

Brittany tilted her head and opened her mouth to speak.

"She wants us to just _sing_, Brit," Quinn clarified. She swallowed hard. "I'd like that too," she offered tentatively.

Rachel nodded. "I suggest we break up into voice parts. Let's learn the harmonies, put it together with the choreography, and make it as good as we can. Anything _else_...can wait."

"Agreed," Finn said quietly, nodding. "It makes sense. We have to be a team, and we can't do that if we're at each others' throats."

Rachel bloomed under his approval. _Finally, someone I can help..._

Puck watched her look at Finn and heard her voice in his head, trying to defend him. _Hell. After all the crap I've put her through, she still tries to stand up for me._ He looked around the room at the people surrounding him, the weight of their judgment still looming. _Maybe I made the wrong call. I could use a friend like her. _He took a deep breath and crossed the room to her side. "Um, Berry?" he said hesitantly.

_Leave Noah Puckerman alone, Rachel, haven't we figured out that that is the appropriate course of action?_ She turned to him, plastered a smile on her face. "Yes, N--Puck?"

He licked his lips. "I, uh...I just wanted to, you know..." _Way to sound like an idiot._ He swallowed and looked her in the eye. "Thanks."

Her eyes softened as the smile turned genuine. _Oh, Noah..._"I told you I would stand up for you. While this was less than ideal," she cut her eyes to Finn, looking pensively out the window, "it needed to be done. None of you -- Quinn included -- were truly happy with the way things were. Now, you all make your choices with all the facts at your disposal. It's for the best." _Even if now I'm more of a pariah than ever,_ she thought mournfully. _They were never _really _my friends, anyway..._

Puck watched the shadow cross through her eyes and tried to ignore the knot in his stomach. _Yeah, _our _best, not yours._ "Listen, if...if anyone gives you crap..."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "I should, what, send them to you? Noah, you _are _one of them," she laughed.

"Not anymore," he said firmly. _I'm gonna be better, I swear I am._

She eyed him dubiously and subsided into a smile. "I'll keep that in mind, then, thank you."

_That actually felt pretty damn good._ Puck gave her a head nod, and headed back to the piano to pick up his music and join the guys.

Rachel flitted through the room, listening to the work the groups were doing, correcting pitches or harmonies as needed._ This is almost as enjoyable as performing, _she smiled to herself. She started putting the parts together, to see how they sounded. _I think I might like teaching...when I'm done performing, of course_. She clapped her hands together. "All right, everyone, I believe we've merited a small intermission. Take ten minutes, and reconvene for runthroughs with choreography!"

She drew in a long slow breath with her eyes closed, and twirled a small circle, humming softly to herself.

"Streisand, Berry?" Puck smirked at her from the windowsill. "Isn't that a little predictable?" _Dude! What the hell are you still doing here, Puckerman?_

His voice was almost as much a shock as his identification of the song and she opened her eyes with a hesitant smile. "It's my heritage as a Jewish performer, which I am sure you understand, considering..." She ignored the quick constriction of her heart as she continued, "...Your stunning rendition of Neil Diamond." She met his eyes, held his gaze for a moment. _I should've appreciated it more...Can you tell that I'm living to regret it, Noah? _"She is the epitome of all I want to be. As a songstress, that is."

As Rachel's deep brown eyes caught his, he was paralyzed by an unfamiliar longing. _Man up, Puckerman, it's Rachel Berry, she broke up with you_. Breaking away from her gaze, Puck scoffed, and picked up his guitar. He shifted uncomfortably. _Yeah, broke up with me, and then ruined any chance she might've had with Hudson 'cause I asked her to, and kept standing up for me even when she didn't have to_. "Does anyone use that word besides you?"

_Damn it, Rachel! You should've just- Don't you let him-_ She took a deep even breath. "I'll leave you alone," she said quietly, turning to leave. _You should've listened to the damn sign.  
_  
"Wait," he said quickly. _Quit being such an idiot!_ "Damn it, I'm..." He huffed out a breath. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? You helped me out and I still can't...I can't get my default setting off 'asshole'."

"Is that why you said...? With Finn?"

He nodded once. _I just...want all of this to go away..._

Rachel pursed her lips in amusement. _Hmm. Maybe he _can _be taught. _"At least you have insight. It's a start." She sat at the piano, played the opening chords of "Don't Rain on My Parade."

"So, why do you always pick these show tunes when you actually know music from outside the geriatric ward? Why don't you sing something from this century? Might help people think you're less of a freak," he offered.

_Gee, thanks. _Rachel rolled her eyes at him. "I _do_, Noah, you've eavesdropped on some of them."

Puck ran a hand over his head. _Yeah, every time you've been heartbroken over Saint Finn._ He ignored the bitter taste in his mouth at the thought. "Yeah, true."

Rachel smirked down at the keys. _Poor boy looks so uncomfortable._ "I just find the classics a better vocal exercise, but for enjoyment, I think I'd surprise you with my choices."

"Really?" _Let's see what you've got, Berry._ Puck started strumming a tune.

_Seriously?_ Rachel sighed, "_Use Somebody_, Kings of Leon. That was easy, Noah."

He raised a brow, played another.

"_All You Deliver_, Jose Gonzalez. Though I'm surprised _you _listen to him."

He smirked at her. _This is kinda fun_. "You're not the only one who's more than they seem. It's a dude and a guitar." He gestured down to himself. "Duh, Berry."

Rachel playfully stuck her tongue out at him and played one for him.

_Oh, kill me now_. He rolled his eyes. "Younger sister, Berry, Taylor Swift, and really? _Love Story_? Played out, _forever_."

She laughed, and the joyous abandon in her tone filled the room. "Want a challenge then?" She played the opening of one of her current favorites.

Puck shrugged. "Piano's gorgeous, but just chords? I have no idea of the song."

She sang from where she was in the piece.

_"You hold me without touch...  
You keep me without chains.  
I never wanted anything so much,  
Than to drown in your love, and not feel your rain..._

_Set me free,  
leave me be...  
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity.  
Here I am, and I stand so tall...  
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be.  
But you're on to me, and all over me..."_

She swallowed and blinked back her tears. _Okay, instincts not on your side, Rachel. _"_Gravity_. Sara Bareilles," she whispered softly.

_Aw, hell..._"Berry-"

"Noah, don't. I'm...it's okay." She gave him a watery smile. "I've realized that if...if Finn and I were supposed to happen, we would've. It's well past time to get over my cliched fixation." _Or I'm beginning to think maybe I already have, and just landed in a different mess..._

He looked over at her skeptically. _Well, if I can't say it in words..._He strummed the guitar, picking out a melody.

"Jason Mraz, _Details in the Fabric,_" she said absently. _Another guy with a guitar, of course.  
_  
He nodded and kept playing, glancing up at her and nodding towards the piano.

Rachel frowned in confusion, but smiled as she understood. _He wants me to join in?_ She started playing along with him as he sang.

_**"Calm down  
Deep breaths  
And get yourself dressed, instead  
Of running around  
And pulling all your threads and  
Breaking yourself up**_

_**If it's a broken part, replace it  
If it's a broken arm, then brace it  
If it's a broken heart, then face it...**_

_**And hold your own  
Know your name  
And go your own way...  
Hold your own  
Know your own name  
And go your own way,  
And everything...will be fine..."  
**_  
He gave a small smile as he kept playing the guitar fill. _At least she doesn't look like she's gonna fall apart anymore._ "If you know the song, then I bet you know the James Morrison part?"

She rolled her eyes. _It's _music_, it's only my livelihood._ "Um, of course," she answered, raising her eyebrows disbelievingly. "You have to ask?"

"Good," he said with a smirk. "Keep up." _Quit thinking about her boobs, dude._

Rachel joined in on harmonies as the next verse picked up.

_**"Hang on...  
Help is on the way  
Stay strong...  
I'm doing everything**_

_**Hold your own  
Know your name  
And go your own way  
Hold your own  
Know your name  
And go your own way**_

_**And everything, everything will be fine  
Everything..."**_

_Our voices sound rather lovely together..._Rachel took over the melody with a smile.

_**"Are the details in the fabric  
Are the things that make you panic  
Are your thoughts results of static cling?**_

_**Are the things that make you blow  
Hell, no reason, go on and scream  
If you're shocked it's just the fault  
Of faulty manufacturing.**_

_**Yeah, everything will be fine  
Everything in no time at all  
Everything...**_

_**Hold your own  
And know your name  
And go your own way..."**_

She smiled shyly at Noah as he reclaimed the melody and she the backup vocals for the end of the song.

_**"Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)  
Are the things that make you panic  
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)**_

_**Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)  
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)  
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?**_

_**Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)  
Hell no reason go on and scream  
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)  
Of faulty manufacturing**_

_**Everything will be fine  
Everything in no time at all  
Hearts will hold..."**_

She closed her eyes as she and Noah played the ending, opening them with a soft smile. "That was lovely, Noah, thank you." _And I am not going to think about whether you_'_re trying to tell me something with your song choices, lest I drive myself insane. I_'_m going to take this all at face value, as _fun.  
_  
Yeah, it kinda was. Well, not lovely. That's a girly word. But...whatever_. He shrugged. "No big, Berry. You're pretty decent to jam with."

Her smile widened, then froze as the door opened. _Oh no..._

As Finn looked from Rachel to Puck and back again, he turned to leave.

"Don't," Rachel said softly. "Please." She looked at Puck and then cut her eyes to Finn. _Talk to him, now that your default is off 'asshole'._ She pushed back from the piano and walked over to Finn, gently laying her hand on his arm. "Finn, just...try to hear him out?"

"Why," he whispered harshly. "I thought you said we'd deal with this _after _Sectionals."

She leaned around to catch his gaze. "I know, Finn, and we will. But I think Noah has something to say to you, don't you, Noah?" She turned to Puck then, eyes flashing. _Now would be the time to actually _apologize!

Puck swallowed and put the guitar down, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked over to Finn and Rachel. "Dude...Finn...I'm...dude, I'm sorry. I know...I know that's not enough, but I know I screwed up. I just...I wanted to tell you, and Quinn...she just..." He took a deep breath. "We were both drunk and it didn't mean anything to her and I've been trying to be a part of the baby's life and take the burden off you but she wouldn't let me and I should've said something anyway."

Finn refused to look at him, shrugging off Rachel's hand to stalk to the window.

Rachel glared at Puck. _Do something!_

Puck glared right back. _I'm trying!_ He ran a hand awkwardly over his Mohawk. "It's a good song," he offered. "That you picked. Because you can't. Get what you want. I didn't. _You _didn't." _Berry didn't either_, he reflected, glancing down at the brunette. "But...maybe..."

"You get what you need," Finn said softly. "Yeah, maybe." Secrets and silence weighted the air, until Finn spoke again. "I hope so."

Rachel looked from one to the other with a hopeful heart. _Maybe that's a start._

_***  
_

Getting into character, she ripped the curtains apart and launched herself into fulfillment of a childhood dream. _I've been working on this since I was four in more ways than one..._The words poured from her lips and carried her soul with them. _It's all true, this is my song, this is my _life_, and I deserve sunshine. I deserve this moment. We all do. _

**"But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection  
A freckle on the nose of life's complexion  
The Cinderella or the shiny apple of its eye..."  
**  
_I claim this, damn it. I claim the spotlight, and the audience, I claim myself and my potential. I claim the right to be the first choice, to be the star and not the understudy._

**"I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,  
Only can die once, right, sir?  
Oh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,  
I gotta have my bite, sir..."  
**  
The spotlight found Rachel and she basked in its glow like a flower in the sun. _I'm home, I was _born_ for this..._

**"Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a 'comer'  
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer!  
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!  
**  
**I'm gonna live and live **_**now! **_**  
Get what I want, I know how -  
One roll for the whole shebang -  
One throw that bell will go clang -  
Eye on the target and wham -  
One shot, one gun shot and **_**bam! **_**  
Hey, Mr. Arnstein...here I am..."  
**  
Rachel opened her arms to the world she wanted to conquer. _This is only the beginning...  
_

**"I'll march my band out! I'll beat my drum!"** She watched the two men in her life approach from opposite aisles._ There's some meaning here, if I only knew what it was._

**"And if I'm fanned out****…****your turn at bat, sir,  
At least I didn't fake it. Hat, sir,  
I guess I didn't make it****…**

**Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"  
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer****!****  
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna****…****rain on my parade!"**

She poured her heart and soul into the last note, cutting off and breathing heavily. _Oh God...please..._

The thunderous applause only mirrored the thundering of Rachel's heart. _This is it. This is what I want, for the rest of my life._ She smiled widely, gesturing behind her. "Ladies and gentlemen, New Directions!" As the choir began to sing, Rachel joined them. _And these are my people._

Finn took his place as leading man, and let the music brighten the dark shadows in his heart.

Puck watched them both, watched them circle and sing. _Wonder how long it'll take before the two of them get together._ He forced himself to ignore the nauseous feeling the thought caused, and looked from one to the other. _It makes sense, the two leads getting together. And Berry's been pining for him all year. It's like a chick flick. The happy ending. Right?_ He shook himself. _Get a grip, Puckerman, you're thinking like a girl_. _Who cares if Crazy and Frankenteen hook up? _He turned his attention back out to the audience. _Wonder if there are any hotties I can hook up with before we go..._

***

"And in second place, Jane Adams Academy, which means McKinley High's New Directions are our first place choir! Congratulations!"

"We won!" Rachel cried, leaping from her seat. _It's a sign, this is my path! _"Guys, we _won!_" She grabbed Finn's hand, dragging him to the stage with her. _We did it!_

"Oh, no..." Mercedes groaned. "_She's_ gonna represent our school?"

Rachel looked out at the beaming faces, accepting the microphone as Finn hoisted the trophy. _This isn't right_. She shook her head and gestured for the trophy.

"Huh? Rach, just go ahead..." Finn whispered frantically.

"No! _You _won this for us, Finn. You. You deserve this moment." She smiled. _And I think you _need_ this moment too._ "I already had mine."

Finn swallowed, and took the mic as Rachel struggled under the trophy. "Um, we just want to say, thank you so much. You have no idea how much this really means to us." He looked at the other choir directors reproachfully. "I know it may seem like we're just your average middle-class school, and that stuff like this doesn't matter, but...you have no idea how much we've overcome to get here, and how much we've had to ignore just to make it through today. It's been a struggle, and it's..." He turned to Rachel with a smile. "Winning can make everything good, for a little while."

Rachel beamed up at him. _Here's hoping for more than a while._

***

"We should do something," Rachel declared on the bus ride back. "For Mr. Schue. Since he didn't get to see us perform after all his hard work." _Team morale takes constant maintenance!_

"I think that's a lovely idea, Rachel," Ms. Pillsbury agreed.

"Like what?" Artie asked.

Rachel glanced at Puck with a small smirk as she answered, "How does everyone feel about Kelly Clarkson?"

***

Rachel prowled the Choir Room before Glee while everyone else took a break before Mr. Schuester's arrival. "Are we absolutely certain we hit all the highlights with the choreography? The mash-ups, Single Ladies, the assembly, the invitational, hairography, Proud Mary, our auditions..." She bit her lip. "I just want this to be perfect..."

"_Chill_, Berry," Puck drawled as he sprawled on a chair. "We got it." _And you doing laps in that little skirt is driving me nuts. And it shouldn't. _He barely contained a snicker as she flitted around the room. "You sure you're not on Vitamin D?" _Either that or you've got enough nervous energy to power Lima. I could think of much better ways to burn that off. What? Where the hell did that train of thought come from? _

"Noah!" she protested. "That was an unfortunate lapse of judgment which I will not deign to repeat." _I want to properly thank Mr. Schuester for all he's done for all of us, that's why I'm so jittery. It has nothing to do with the fact that being alone with Noah makes me...itchy._

He grabbed her hand on her next pass. _What the hell, Puckerman? Touching Berry should _not _make your hand tingly._ Hauling her down into a seat, he leered at her. "Wanna make another?"

She slapped his arm and laughed. _Rachel! What happened to leaving him alone? _Her brain and her mouth parted ways as she replied. _Screw it -- 'I gotta fly once, I gotta try once', right?_ "Puckerman, if I got back together with you, it wouldn't be because of a lapse in judgment, I promise you that." She dropped a kiss on his cheek and went back to orbiting the room.

_Huh. That was totally not what I expected. _He watched her hips sway away from him as the rest of the Gleeks filed back in, glancing briefly at Quinn before looking away. _**"But if you try sometimes...well you just might find...you get what you need."**_ The lyrics echoed in his head as Puck called Matt over. _What the hell, I've taken stupider chances..._"Dude, switch places with me in the line dance."

"Huh?" Matt looked at him, perplexed.

_Oh, come on. _"The line dance, with the cowboy hats. Switch places with me."

"Um...sure?" He looked at Puck and his eyes widened as he realized. "Dude! You mean the part where Ra-"

"Cool," Puck said, and walked away.

Rachel pretended not to notice the switch, and Puck pretended the feel of her body behind him didn't set him on fire in the good way.

_Just makes sense to have the better dancers on the outer ends, where you see them_, he justified to himself._ Yeah. That's it._ He watched her jump around happily and licked his lips, remembering the taste of strawberry lip gloss, the feel of short skirts and tight blouses.

_Yup. That's all.  
_

* * *

**Musical note: **Well, Rachel and Puck already told you what the songs were. Though I would highly suggest checking out all of the songs they were playing to each other. You'll see why Rachel didn't want to think too deeply about them.

**A.N.**: Yeah, okay. So. I want my Puckleberry, but it didn't feel right to hook them up romantically...yet. Hence, the wondrous time machine known as an epilogue! Should be up relatively soon…if anyone's interested. What's that? How would you let me know you're interested? REVIEW! Thanks! :)


	6. Epilogue: An Ordinary Day

**Epilogue – ****An Ordinary Day****  
**

**A.N.: **Here you go, as promised. The epilogue. :) So sad to leave this story, but I have to say, I've really enjoyed writing this one. Hope you've enjoyed reading it! This may be it for a while -- I've been horribly neglectful of my other big fandom, "Chuck", and don't want to be that author who leaves her work unfinished. So, those of you who have me on Author Alert may see updates for "Chuck" instead. (Though the Puckleberry muse has quite the hold on me.) Either way, please enjoy!

**Musical key**: **Rachel** in bold, _**Puck **_bold and italicized. :)

* * *

Since it started with a song, it only made sense that a song brought them around again.

Rachel practiced her piano scales to pass the time, reveling in the echo of the auditorium acoustics. _How time flies..._Winter break had come and gone, Babygate -- _Ugh, I _despise_ that label, _Rachel thought -- was still sending ripples through the club and the school, but less so now. _Thank goodness life at McKinley seems to finally be moving past it. _

She moved to the minor scales as she reflected. _They've all probably given up on any more drama from this sector. Considering, as days turned to weeks turned to months, Finchel didn't happen. Oh, Rachel. Why on earth __are you__ using Ben-Israel's stupid uni-name __in your head_, she sighed. Finn was single, and growing up by leaps and bounds, yet Rachel found herself content to be just his best friend. _Maybe because...  
_  
The auditorium door swung open with a thud and Rachel smiled. "About time, Puckerman," she teased. "What, do I need to buy you a watch? Cell phone fried from all the hot sexts your flavor of the week is sending?"

Puck smirked. "Very funny, Berry, I needed to grab something out of my locker." He waved sheets of paper at her as he came down the aisle. "Figured we could try something different. We never did do a mash-up," he continued. _Deep breaths, Puckerman._ He looked at Rachel, her brows furrowed in confusion. "_Chill_, Berry. I was just messing around with something, I wanna see how it sounds."

"O-okay," she said uncertainly. _This is...odd..._

Puck rolled his eyes as he reached the stage and leaped up beside her and handed off the papers. _Does she always have to know everything? _

_Wait..._She looked down at the sheets in her hands. _What? _Rachel looked up at him as he grabbed his guitar. "Staff paper? Noah, I didn't know you could write music like this!" She smiled at him. "I'm impressed!"

He shrugged. "Well, yeah. It's a mash-up, or kinda like a duet, maybe. I just copied the sheet music for the original songs. Really not that impressive. 'Cept for the fact that I mashed 'em up and played with the verses. Now _that_ took time." _And now you just admitted you actually _worked _on this crap__, you idiot__. If she doesn't get it, or it doesn't work, you're _really _gonna look like a tool..._"But if it's good enough to use, you know, it's worth it. It'd be nice to be something other than Puck-the-asshole-who-knocked-up-the-Queen-of-the-Chastity-Ball."

Rachel gently touched his arm and smiled. "Noah...you're a _lot _more than that, and anyone who hasn't seen that by now is blind." _Just remember I saw it first! _She bit her lip. _Rachel! Control yourself! _

He swallowed and looked away. _Here's hoping that whole veracity thing is true. _"Thanks, Berry," he said earnestly, glancing up at her quickly. _Is she...blushing? _"Wanna try it?"

She nodded and skimmed the music. _Is he...__? _"Interesting choices to combine," she managed past the lump in her throat. _Get a grip, Rachel, don't read too much into this._

He shrugged. _Just play the damn song, Berry!_ "What can I say? All that music pop quizzing we've been doing has me listening to some odd stuff."

Rachel chuckled. "Yeah, well, it was _your _idea to come here on our free period and mess around." _Rachel!!_ "I mean, with _music!"_ she added quickly. _Could you stop being such an idiot?_ She restrained the urge to bury her face in her hands as she watched the smirk bloom on his face. _You'd think after all this time I'd be a little less of a lovesick schoolgirl..._

Puck snickered as he quickly tuned his guitar. "Hell, Berry, if you wanted to do the other thing, you could've just said so," he leered. _Would've made my life easier, instead of feeling like a schmuck who's asking a girl out for the very first time__. _He rolled his shoulders and blew out a breath. _Dude, you're a _stud_, what are you worrying about? You've got this._

Rachel composed herself, and after a pressure check of the keys on the opening chords, began to play.

**"Just a day, just an ordinary day...  
Just tryin' to get by.  
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy,  
But he was looking to the sky**

**And - " **

Puck took up his part, casting glances Rachel's way.

_**"I think it's getting to the point**_**  
**_**Where I can be myself again**_**  
**_**I think it's getting to the point**_**  
**_**Where we have almost made amends**_**...**_**"**_**  
**

Rachel frowned briefly as she sang her next lyrics.

**"He said, 'Take my hand  
Live while you can  
Don't you see your dreams lie right  
In the palm of your hand?'"**

She swallowed, as her heart lodged in her throat, and stared determinedly at the sheet music in front of her. _Would you just _calm down_, Rachel? And please, can my stomach stop churning? _She concentrated every fiber of her being on the piano interlude. _Could he seriously...?_

Puck met her gaze steadily as he delivered his line. _I really hope you're listening..._

_**"I think it's the getting to the point**_**  
**_**That is the hardest part."**_

_This can't be happening,_ Rachel told herself, her heart swelling with hope and longing. _It's _Noah Puckerman,_ would he _really _go through all this trouble for the Queen of the Gleeks? _She licked her lips unconsciously as she continued to sing.

**"And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words  
Although they did not feel, no...  
For I felt what I had not felt before  
And you'd swear those words could heal..."**

She turned wide eyes on him as she swallowed hard. _Or maybe I'm not giving him enough credit?_

_I can't believe I'm doing this..._Puck stomped on the urge to run from the room before he made a bigger fool of himself or grab her and kiss her. _But damn it, Puckerman, the girl _deserves _the romance after..._He refrained from shaking his head as he recalled how steadfast she'd been at his side, standing strong for him when he couldn't be strong himself, believing in him when he wouldn't. _I don't deserve you, but..._He took a deep breath and poured his heart into his verse.

_**"And if you call, I will answer...**_**  
**_**And if you fall, I'll pick you up...**_**  
**_**And if you court this disaster,**_**  
**_**I'll point you home...  
I'll point you home**_**.**_**"**_

Puck kept his eyes glued on hers as he played the guitar break. _Come on, Berry..._

She nearly lost her breath at the searing look in his eyes, and a bubble of laughter escaped her as she saw her next verse. _Does he know me that well? __To know that I would question this?_

**"Did he ask if I would come along?  
It all seemed so real…  
But as I looked to the door  
I saw that boy, standing there with a deal -**

**And he said - "**

He heard her chuckle and his heart soared. He looked deeply into her eyes, swallowed hard, and sang his reply.

_**"If you call, I will answer**_**  
**_**And if you fall, I'll pick you up**_**  
**_**And if you court this disaster..." **_

This time he grinned self-deprecatingly as he held her gaze, darting his eyes down to himself and back to her. _Let's face it, I _am_ kind of a big damn mess._

She skimmed the next lyrics she had to sing and the ensuing smile threatened to split her at her cheekbones. She bit her cheek to hold back her laughter._ Whatever may have happened in between, Noah Puckerman is still just as self-assured as he ever was. Anticipating my answer?_ She quirked a brow at him as she sang her reply.

**"Take my hand  
Live while you can  
Don't you see your dreams lie right**  
**In the palm of your hand  
In the palm of your hand,  
In the palm of your hand…"**

She played the piano fill with a giddy smile, losing herself in her very own fairytale. _Oh, Noah...did you really do all of this...for _me?

He watched her eyes soften, and a dreamy smile break across her face. _She _does _get it,_ he realized. He grinned and sang his last verse, keeping those warm chocolate eyes on his.

_**"So if you call, I will answer**_**  
**_**And if you fall, I'll pick you up**_**  
**_**And if you court this disaster**_**  
**_**I'll point you home  
I'll point you home…"**_

They looked at each other as they played their respective endings, Rachel's piano ending the duet.

"Noah," she breathed. _Is this really happening to me? _"That was, by far, the single most romantic-"

"Did you like it?" he interrupted, rubbing a hand over the back of his head as he put his guitar down. _Don't make me sound all _mushy_,__ damn it.__ I'm a _stud_, Berry._

She nodded vigorously. "Noah, I _loved_ it," she whispered. _I love _you, _and I cannot believe you did all this..._"So does this mean...are you...do you...?" She looked at him hopefully.

He grinned as he saw her heart in her eyes. _I'm the man. _He smirked at her as he teased, "Wanna make out?"

_Yes_, she screamed inside her head. She struggled to slow her pounding heart. _Rachel, if your life up till now has taught you anything, it's to grab for the brass ring _every damn time_. _

She blew out a breath, and put a hard scowl on her face. "I am _not_ that girl, Noah Puckerman, I won't just make out with you on a _whim_. I've done it, and it's lovely, but I'm not going to be some -"

"Geez, Berry!" he groaned. "Do I _really _have to-" _Doesn't she get what I'm saying?_

She folded her arms and raised her chin mutinously. _I haven't waited patiently for this long to be friends with benefits! _"All or nothing, Puckerman. What's it going to be?" _Please let me have read him correctly._

He was suddenly reminded of that Meat Loaf song. _What was that line? Oh, yeah..."Stop right there! I gotta know right now! Before we go any further..."_He rubbed a hand over the back of his head and shoved a hand in his pocket as he looked at the floor. "So fine, do you maybe wanna go out some-"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, leaping up from her piano stool. "It's about time, you _moron_."

"Hey! I thought you said I had all this potential and crap, and now you're calling me a _moron?" _He caught her in his arms as she ran at him, drawing her close against his body. _Damned if she doesn't feel just as perfect here as I remembered..._He leaned his forehead against hers and looked down into her eyes. "_Not _cool, Berry."

She smirked up at him. "I think I can make it up to you," she murmured.

Puck raised an eyebrow. _This girl is something else. _"And how would you do that, exactly?" He walked them back to the piano and straddled the bench, drawing her down across his lap. He nuzzled her neck with a sigh. _Still smells just as good, too._ He nipped lightly at the tender spot where her neck met her shoulder.

She giggled, joy bursting through her like fireworks. _Is this real? _She reached her hand out to trace the side of his face. _I doubt he's ready for the first line, but..._She let a seductive grin spread over her lips as she sang to him softly.

**"...never know how much I care  
when you put your arms around me****  
I get a fever that's so hard to bear...  
you give me fever...**

**when you kiss me,****  
fever when you-"**

He groaned as he cut her off and squeezed her more tightly against him. "Why do you have to be so damn _hot _when you sing?" he complained. He tangled a hand in her hair and hauled her in for a kiss. _Finally..._

Rachel smiled against his lips as she kissed him back. _Finally..._She sighed contentedly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and sank herself further under his spell.

***

Matt snickered in the back row, shushing Santana, Brittany and Mike. "Dude, I _told _you something was up with those two!" he stage-whispered. "C'mon, let's get out of here before it goes from Disney Channel to Cinemax."

As they left, Brittany let the auditorium door thump shut.

"Brit!" Santana chastised.

***

Rachel and Puck pulled away from each other, breathing heavily into the stillness.

Rachel giggled. _Well, that's a switch. _"For once, it's not one of _us _that's the voyeur," she whispered.

Puck raised an eyebrow. _Well, well, you considered yourself a voyeur? _"Kinky, Berry, I like it." He lowered his mouth to her ear. "You like being watched, little girl?"

"Noah!" she scolded, unable to keep her laughter at bay. _Only if _you're _the one watching..._She slapped at his arm half-heartedly. "Stop it, what if it's _Jacob _out there?"

He snickered and nipped at her earlobe before turning his head to hover over her lips. _Bring it. _"Then I hope he got a new notebook, 'cause he's about to learn a thing or ten," he said huskily, and kissed her again.

*** END ***

**Musical note: **The duet is "Ordinary Day" by Vanessa Carlton crossed with "Call and Answer" by Barenaked Ladies. Rachel's little serenade to Puck is "Fever", made famous by Peggy Lee, and Puck's internal monologue lyrics were from "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf.

**A.N.: **So, there you have it, our Puckleberry payoff, hopefully in a believable way. I just want to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. I am totally humbled that some of my absolute favorite Puckleberry authors have actually read my humble offering, so a special thanks to them. But especially (hope you don't mind!) a big thank you to Desda, who leaves the loveliest reviews and makes me feel like a Puckleberry rock star. :) Thanks, Des!


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